Programming jokes


#1

PROGRAM - n. - A magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one’s input into error messages. v. tr.- To engage in a pastime similar to banging one’s head against a wall, but with fewer opportunities for reward.


#2

“I’m sorry, but you seem to be having a problem with your data to program interface”

“Oh, watch out for the I-D ten T error” (ID10T)


#3

“at the beginning of my IT engineer life, my wife wasn’t too happy about it, especially in the early days of our relationship. Bad times, fightings, she could not accept that I dedicated so much time to this instead of planning our time together.
But recenlty I’ve upgraded her up to 8 Giga, now it’s ok.”


#4

Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, Right?
A: 1


#5

Not really a joke, but the looks I get from my wife when she overhears something like:

awk pipe sed pipe grep redirect cat

are priceless.

She has learned that “!” is pronounced “bang”


#6

I like it… clean it up a bit and you could do stand up lol


#7

It’s not completely a joke that most English-speaking software engineers have English as a second language.

ETA:
Shamelessly stolen from someone’s sig line on a FreeBSD Mailing list.


#8

Postgres And DynamoDB walk in to a bar, and a little while later they both left… Do you know why they left?.. Because they couldn’t find a table. :rofl:


#9

If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBOL.


#10

My daily Unix command list: unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep.


#11

I prefer to bang my head on my keyboard, on the hope that I will eventually begin to look like a Klingon…

My wife finds it amusing when, in a fit of frustration, I grumble “I hate computers!”